Not all conflict is damaging, but where this is frequent, intense and poorly resolved it can harm children’s outcomes.
There is a range of help, advice and tools for parents who want to reduce parental conflict and minimise it’s negative impact on their children.
The importance of healthy relationships
When two people share responsibility for a child, no matter whether they are still together or separated, the relationship between them has a direct impact on the emotional wellbeing and mental health of their child.
A healthy parental relationship is one that nurtures the physical, emotional and social development of a child. This creates an environment of nurture which lays the foundation for the child’s personality, life choices and overall behaviour. Some of the benefits of experiencing healthy relationships include that the child will:
- Grow up with secure and healthy attachments.
- Gain strong problem-solving skills.
- Strengthen their mental, linguistic and emotional development.
- Develop happy and content relationships with others.
- Learn to regulate emotions under stress and in difficult situations.
- Achieve better social and academic skills.
- Exhibit optimistic and confident social behaviours.
We know and understand that in every relationship there are arguments and conflict. These are healthy and a normal part of life. But some couples may argue more frequently and intensely. If these arguments and struggles are left unresolved, they can develop and grow which can change your relationships from healthy to unhealthy and even to abusive.
Parental conflict can occur in all types of families between biological parents, step-parents, foster and adoptive parents, parents and grandparents, and separated and divorced parents.
Bromley’s Early Intervention and Family Support Service has developed a 3-step healthy relationship model 'Stop, Think, Change' which has different streams of help and support:
Reducing parental conflict (RPC) quizzes
We have a set of three short quizzes to help identify conflict. You should always start with the Child’s Viewpoint Quiz and then complete The Parent’s Viewpoint Quiz which has two options either the “Parents who are together or are considering separation” or “Parents Who are Separated”. Use the results from the quizzes to stop and think about the strengths and positives that you can build upon and the areas that need your time, energy and focus which will determine what needs to change.
View and download the RPC Quizzes
Relationship thought prompt cards (self-help guides)
We have developed a set of 10 relationship thought prompt cards which have been designed to be used as a set or individually to think about the simple actions you can take to make sure your relationship is healthy.
View and download the 10 thought prompt cards
Reducing parent conflict (RPC) Toolkit guide and 9 activities
The tool guide has all information you need to follow the three-step healthy relationships model. We also offer different activities to help you think through any issues that you have identified and find solutions.
View and download the activities
View and download the full toolkit guide (8.2 MB)
RPC parent workshops and online courses
We offer face-to-face reducing parental conflict parent workshops as well as online courses. Please visit reducing parental conflict parent workshops and courses.